Are you one of those who has grown beyond the insecurities of others perception of you? If that’s you, I want to congratulate you. But what if this strength of yours could actually be one of your biggest weaknesses?
Despite being a Harvard grad, an acclaimed author and being named US Bankers Top 25 Most Powerful Women in Finance, Carla Harris, an African American Senior VP at Morgan Stanely says “The work you do is less important than how others perceive you and your work.” The fact is, as Carla says, perception is the co-pilot of reality. So, if others negative perception of you and your work is holding you back from the success you deserve, do what Carla did and change their perception with your actions and language.
To change the perception on Wall Street that she wasn’t tough enough, Carla would conduct meetings and negotiations with such tenacity, that people were now cautioned before going into meetings to be prepared because she was tough. In bio’s given to anyone introducing her at a speaking event, Carla carefully chose the right set of adjectives to describe just how tough she was. Within a very short time, she flipped the switch on others negative perception on her, which allowed her to ascend to the heights of success in her field.
Remember a time when you felt stressed or overwhelmed by something you know you wanted to do but didn’t know how to do? That’s exactly how I felt after I wrote my book Winning The Money Game and realized I wanted to make it a best seller but didn’t know how. Here’s 3 simple steps I found to evict that stress like a bad tenant. I call it the 3 R’s Realize, Release and Redirect.
First, Realize what the true source of the stress is: (it’s just the fear of doing something new and last I checked, not knowing how to do something stopped Thomas Edison or The Wright Brothers, so it shouldn’t stop me);
Next is Release (you want to release all of the toxins and self- sabotaging thoughts that don’t serve you like I can’t do this or I’m not good enough. Your job is to take those thoughts captive and prevent them from getting deep into your subconscious mind, or your spirit man).
Final step is to Redirect instead of Accept. Rather than using definitive and conclusive statements like I can’t, you redirect them into open-ended questions that put your mind’s creative to work. Once an “I can’t” is redirected to questions like (How can I become a Best Seller, What are the top 3 things best-selling authors did to make their book a best seller). You then realize that Once I do the top 3 things best-selling authors have done, I too will be a best-selling author. Going through this process allowed me to make my book Winning The Money Game, an Amazon best seller the week it was released in 2012.
Ever have one of those days where you wake up and realize you’re out of toothpaste, you go downstairs to fix a cup of morning Joe and you guess it, you’re out of coffee, you get in the car and on the way to work someone cuts you off and gives you the you need Jesus sign and just then you realize you have a flat tire, and all of that happened before 8am. If you’re like me, you’ve had your share of bad days. In this video, I’ll show you how to avoid them, you can use this simple hack. Don’t turn a bad 10 minutes, into a bad hour, or a bad hour in to a bad day. It’s so easy to allow all of that negative stimuli from that bad hour to hijack our emotions and set the course for the rest of the day to be bad. To avoid that, my friend Bonnie St. John, says to get a First Aid Kit for your attitude. Whether on your phone or a physical bag, this kit would have pictures from a memorable trip, sand from your last vacation, meaningful quotes and a host of other things that can help redirect your thoughts, which impact your feelings, which determine your actions or behaviors which ultimately create the results you experience. So, the next time you feel the onset of a bad day, remember to grab a first aid kit for your attitude.
Ever have those moments where you are really angry at God because you feel like he’s abandoned you? Where you maybe try to be obedient and call that relative you have a broken relationship with and you still end up getting disrespected and rejected by them and you’re like see God, told you that was a bad idea You know those moments, we all have them.
If you’ve ever felt anger, bitterness and resentment to God, yet hated that feeling afterwards, I’ve got good news for you. The easiest way to not be angry at God is to be angry at God. Here’s what I mean. In Psalms 13, we’re introduced to what a spiritual mentor of mine calls the Lament Prayer. In it, we see 3 steps to deal with our anger towards God.
Step 1, Voice your anger to him. We see that in the first couple of verses where David voices his anger saying How long will will you forget me, hide your face from me, let my enemies triumph over me.
Then in Step 2, he makes his petition to God and says look to me Lord, Answer my prayers, deliver me from my enemies etc.
Finally Step 3, is the Statement of Trust and David says regardless of voicing my displeasure to you, I still trust you, my heart rejoices in your presence, for you’ve been good to me.
Follow these 3 steps and you’ll find it to be a healthy way to deal with those moments when you feel like the Lord isn’t showing up in your life like you’d like him to.
Remember the time you did something really dumb in a relationship that ended up costing you whatever measure of trust you’d built up. Well today I’m going to share 3 simple steps to help rebuild the trust that you’ve lost.
(1) Immediately recognize the wrong doing and don’t’ make excuses. Far too often we try to explain our behavior away, thinking we are helping our cause, when in reality we are just digging a bigger hole. Stop it, just recognize you were wrong and apologize
(2) Ask for forgiveness. It’s not just sufficient to recognize you were wrong. Ask for forgiveness from the one you wronged and more importantly, ask God for forgiveness. When you hurt others, you hurt the apple of his eye
(3) Make the change in behavior that’s necessary to rebuild trust – This one is probably the most important one
The Bible says through love and faithfulness, sin is atoned for. If you love someone and are faithful to that relationship, going through these 3 steps is an expression of that love. The Bible also says it’s through the fear of the Lord, that a man avoids evil. So, if you have a healthy, loving and reverential relationship with the Lord, that’s how you can avoid engaging in the behavior that got you in this mess in the first place. Lastly, be patient and remember that trust is built up slowly but lost quickly. It’s kind of like the stock market that way.
Hey, are you itching to know the key to getting whatever you want in Life? Well, in Part 1 of this series, we talked about how having a strong desire, like that of a screaming baby, automatically attracted every resource that baby needed to satisfy their desire. Today, we’re going to take that premise a step further by looking at scripture.
In James 1:13, it reminds us of the fact that we are never tempted by God. Rather, each one of us is tempted, when by his evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then after desire is conceived, it gives birth to something, in this case sin. So, by removing the word evil and simply focusing on desire, we see the genesis of the law of attraction. It shows us that there’s a magnetic force that’s attracted to desire, that pulls or drags things to you. And when that desire is highly emotionalized or enticed, then desire gives birth to something.
The greatest emotion one can express is FAITH. So, when FAITH hits the womb of your DESIRE, it attracts every resource necessary to give birth to that which you desire. So, to get whatever you want in life, remember the words of the great Norman Vincent Peale who said, “What the mind can conceive and believe, and the heart desire, you can achieve.”